Sunday, January 8, 2017


Dear Soon To Be Ex Husband,

Where do I begin?  Seven years of marriage and nine years of being together.  You chose to give up.  This is not how I thought we would end up but I guess no one does.  At this point I am not sad anymore that you don't want me.  It is for the better.  I want to be happy and be with someone who wants me.  Our girls deserve to see what a marriage should be.  I hope our girls never get into any relationship thinking it is ok to be treated the way you treated me.  My only sadness is that Addison wants us to be together and really doesn't understand.  She still asks me when we will get  back together. Also that Penelope will never know us as a  family.  I am sad that they won't be able to see both of us every single day.

I'm not exactly sure when things started going bad for us.  Looking back now, I think it started the last couple of months when you were in San Angelo.   I think that is when you stopped truly loving me.  You may not have had a physical affair with someone up there but I think you had an emotional one.  After that I have never really been that important to you.

 I was there for you from the beginning.  I never judged you.  I accepted you for who you were.  Even after all the crazy I still stayed around.  Tell me who drove you around for almost a year because you didn't have a license.   Me.  Who was worried about you when you were in an accident?  Me.  Who forgave you when you did stupid things when you were drunk (and not just on one occasion)?  Me.   Who accepted your son and loves him like their own?   Me.   Who supported you and encouraged you to go into the military?  Me.  Who did anything to make you happy?  Me.   Who went to counseling to try to make our marriage better?  Me.  Who got you out of jail and didn't bitch at you about it?  Me. There are so many more things.

Who kept drinking when they knew it wasn't a good idea?  You.  Who would talk down to me and make me feel so insignificant?  You.  Who never showed up to counseling to work on our marriage?  You.  Who wouldn't compromise on anything and it always had to be there way.  You. Who chose their work, friends, and probably current girlfriend over your family?  You. Who lied about not being able to take a lot of time off after we had our daughter?  You.  Who was physically there but not emotional there when I needed to go to the hospital and have surgery?  You.  Who barely spoke a word or was hardly around in the hospital when our daughter was born?  You.  Who got drunk the first day we had our daughter home from the hospital?  You.

Please be a better father to our girls than husband you were to me.  I am not so much mad at you as I am disappointed in you.  I never realized until now how much I put you first but I was just an after thought to you at least in these last several years.

Our relationship wasn't all bad so I want to remind you of some of good times.  I'll never forget the first time you called me.  I never answered numbers that I didn't know but for some reason that night I did.  Going to Corpus with you for the first time.  The Aquarium with you was my favorite part.  Seeing you enjoy it so much made me so happy.  Remember the night you proposed.  I had no idea even though I thought you were acting a little funny at dinner.  Even now it still put a smile on my face.  One of my favorite memories of us is sitting in the rocking chairs on the front porch of our house, drinking a glass of wine and just talking. I had so much fun that night.  We laughed  and talked of our future.  The night before we had Addison.  I could tell you were so nervous.  Heck you steamed cleaned our entire house in the middle of the night.  Being with you the first couple of days when you were getting ready to graduate basic.  I was so proud of you.  Seeing you for the first time after so long made me so nervous and giddy about you again.  I loved being on the boat with you.

I am will never say I regret our marriage because we got two beautiful girls out of it.  I'm not quite sure we can be friends due to the things you have said and done to me but I hope we can at least be civil to each other for our daughters' sake.  One day I will forgive you for everything but just not today.

Your Soon to Be Ex Wife

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